returning... it is odd being here again after losing myself i don't feel like part of this, and yet i feel like i am here for something odd this restoration is not right it's not that it's wrong just that it will only rebuild not restore rebuilding is about slicing and fixing on the outside rebuilt trees make fences and walls restoration is about growth and life on the inside restored trees make fruit and shade she is making sure that the tree has begun to grow again ---- what is d'ni? what is this kingdom? i have read of d'ni the people i have lived in d'ni the place i have spoken d'ni the language a kingdom is made of both life and belief it is only real with both lives without belief is a kingdom of cards only waiting to fall belief without lives is a kingdom of dead only waiting to live ---- i know a little but i only think i know more i see a little but i only think i see more i understand a little but i only think i understand more i seek a little and i know i will find more i can never know see and understand i can only ever know see and understand more ---- i talked to many people today but i don't really know them how can i know other people? they are revealed only in their words and actions i suppose only really in their actions words are easy i talked to many people today ---- i am growing and i am growing anxious and i am growing weary and i am growing closer and i am growing up and i am growing impatient and i am growing leary and i am growing wise and i am growing less and less ---- my seeking feels like it comes to an end now i feel like i am called higher to become lower i will find them again they are calling me i don't know why but i will know when i find them i remember what they showed me before and i must find that again i hear them even now calling me she has heard them i can't resist i am going]]>